There are
many different Romance Myths that our society face. A few of them being “Love doesn’t cost a
thing”, “Absence makes the heart grow fonder”, “Love conquers all”, and
“Actions speak louder than words”; these are very popular myths that are
believed my so many people as true.
Belief in those myths can be damaging to a person’s well-being and realistic
views on relationships. The romance myth
is one of the strongest myths out, it is the belief that “prince charming” is
going to sweep his “damsel” off her feet and provide a high quality of life
with no interference from any outside barriers.
He will have the “keys” that will open all the doors to happiness.
It is
stated in the romance myth the perfect relationship will evolve into the
perfect marriage. Realistically that is
not the case, and this causes unrealistic ideals of relationship, gives false
hope, and extreme expectations. Romance
is in the eyes of the beholder, everyone’s perception of what’s romantic is
different than that of the next persons.
In most relationships the “courting” phase is considered the romantic
state of the relationship. This is
because most relationships start off with people having their “rose colored
glasses” on. This enables people to
overlook the negative aspects of someone they’re dating and instead focus on
the positive/happiness that they feel when they are with that person. This becomes the problem and it also gives
that romance myth its strength. Movies,
television and books further heighten this superficial belief that this myth is
a reality; it creates an unrealistic fantasy of love and romance.
Reality proves this myth to be a
fallacy because all relationships encounter problems, issues, stereotypes and
stigmas that are far beyond the scope of what’s portrayed in the glorification
of the romance myth. Just look at the current divorce rates; I’m pretty sure
that everyone who entered into those marriages had every intention of living
happily ever after. But the statistics
show a completely different reality. No
longer are couples falling victim to the fallacy of the happy ever after
myth. Not all relationships are perfect
nor are people looking at marriage the same as they did when this romance myth
was most popular.
Some of
the sub topics that go along with the romance myth are ‘Love doesn’t cost a
thing”, “Absence makes the heart grow fonder”, “love conquers all” and “Actions
speak louder than words”. All of these
subtopics are ways that people justify their beliefs and thoughts on romance
and love. My favorite one happens to be “Love
doesn’t cost a thing”, well I can tell you that that’s a lie.
Even under
the premise of prince charming rescuing the damsel in distress and providing
everything for her with the belief that she will provide a home and children
after their marriage, there is still a cost involved on both sides. Those costs may and may not be of a monetary nature
but there are still costs. Sacrifice is
one that comes to mind. In that
circumstance the man is sacrificing his wife of holding any responsibility of
financial responsibility, the wife is sacrificing her dreams, ambitions, and
independence by giving up everything to provide for the home and family. So this saying has an underlying negative double
standard. No longer are the wives just
sitting home hoping that the husband is providing financial stability, nor are husbands
willing to just let the wives be the sole care person for their children. With the evolution of roles throughout the
family setting, the romance suffers.
More often you see commercials enticing couples to stimulate their
relationships by taking a romantic get-away, or some performance enhancing
pill, or even condom commercials “for that spark in the bedroom”. Because of this evolution and suffering of
romance relationships aren’t falling under the romance myths ideals. And the idea of romance is forever changing
as well. Perceptions of what’s romantic
are changing as well. One couple may
believe that an intimate dinner and a movie constitute romance, whereas another
couple may believe that a few moments of quiet time to talk to each other as
being romantic. Of course most people
believe in the romantic gestures as being romance. Gestures such as flowers, candies delivered
to a loved one’s workplace, or even candle lit intimate moments. But the reality of the romance myth has lost
its excitement.
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